it's amazing that I even have a boyfriend...
me: I'm dying hereee.
boyfriend: I'd grab you by your throat and start kissing you.
me: as you go to softly lick at my tongue, you'd feel a tickle in the back of your throat. you'd pull away and scoot away from me, staring in awe.Suddenly I would dislocate my jaw as a huge four foot long tongue slipped out of my mouth, jolting suddenly up, and whipping around the air like a lasso before shooting across the bed and lapping at your face like a cat at it's milk. my torso cracks and arches, forcing me into a back bend, as my head spins in a 360 degree angle. "Fuck me! Fuck!!" I'd shout in a deranged voice, twisting my limbs in almost inhumanly ways.
boyfriend: I think I just came...